But who, sometimes, doesn't feign emotions in an effort to transcend the void that suddenly looms between them and someone they believed themselves to be on intimate terms with? It looks as if it's only possible to be genuine in a game in which you have more than one life. Or rather it is easier to achieve justice and authenticity in a game than in real life. --Ivan Klima

The void looms regardless. The void looms not because of a deficiency or lack left from a failed attempt at plenitude. No. The void looms as the condition for intimacy, effort, and transcendence themselves. The void looms between the two--it is the difference that makes me possible, and you too. The void looms between us--we long for an encounter in which it might disappear--even for a second--and thus feign emotions in an active tweak of the real--an attempt to forget in order to overcome. But, actively forgetting is not possible--we only forget those things we won't/don't try to forget. The void looms and it draws us near--draws us out--draws into places we really don't want to go--into places unlit and unsafe--into places vulnerable and new.

Did I say I hate the void?

I love the void. I love the movement of play the void spurs on in every moment. I love the waves crashing over, and over, and over--changing shapes--changing form--changing color--changing me. I love the difference and the movement. I love the perpetual activity and flow. If there were no void, there would be no moving--no coming together and breaking apart--no desire--no attempts at self-transcendence. All attempts at self-transcendence would be null and void.

I have only the void. And, so do you. I have only the felt absence--the sensed absence. And, I have it only passively. I'll take it (I have no choice), and let it take me into places--no, spaces--of which I do not know.