Saturday, May 28, 2011

Effigy (Andrew Bird)

If you come to find me affable
And build a replica for me
Would the idea to you be laughable
Of a pale facsimile


I don't want a replica. And, I surely don't want an effigy. If you come to find me affable, I am not even sure it's memories I am after. No, if you come to find me affable, then let's not think about it. Let's not reflect about what it means or why you do so. If we come to find ourselves mutually affable, well, let's let it be--let's let the affability carry on unnoticed and untheorized. What do you say? If you find me affable, don't think about it, just stay in it with me and don't worry about the rest.

So when you come to burn an effigy
It should keep the flies away
When you learn to burn this effigy
It should be
For the hours that slip away


I'm serious. No effigies and no hours. Let the flies gather, and don't even think twice. I am sure the memories will be good, and the pictures will make you cry from time to time, and there will be days where you remember. But, please no effigies. The flies are your last worry. I want to love you in a way that means you'll never have to worry about keeping flies away from me. I want to love you in a way that you are able to care about other things. Okay?

It could be you, it could be me
Working the door, drinking for free
Carrying on with your conspiracies
Filling the room with a sense of unease
Fake conversations on a nonexistent telephone
Like the words of a man who's spent a little too much time alone
When one has spent too much time alone...


I know, it could be either of us. I know it could be either of us. But, I'm telling you, the last thing I want is an effigy, and that includes a non-existent telephone that reaches nowhere. Don't spend the time caring for someone who isn't at the end of a receiver that doesn't exist. Unease is one thing--one good thing--but not when it is about longing and wishing. Unease is the good thing when it is about actively surrendering to the onslaught of moments that wound, but never exist.

I'm going to love you in a way that there is no effigy, understand? I'm going to love you in a way that there is no way you can be represented now or ever, okay? I am going to accept that it isn't possible, and isn't worthwhile. I'm going to love you in a way that means I don't know you, and don't want to.