Clergy

After a night of dismal sleep, I awoke frustrated. Why? Why did that clergy person bother me so much? Why was I harboring anger rather than simply disregard? I went to the park for a walk that day. My headache fully in tact, I walked with my head down and slowly. After a bit, I saw some children playing and some parents watching. I saw an older gentleman feeding birds and a young couple holding hands. I saw a homeless person sleeping under a tree and a teenager taking a walk. It was then I realized why I was so angry: that clergy person talked as if people were the burden--or something to deal with--not the source and the awe and the reason for trying to accomplish whatever divine mission they thought they had. There was no deep seated awe or intrinisic, life-gnawing, energy quenching, feel-you-in-my-bones when I sleep and am beyond tired. There was no I-care-even-though-I-don't-want-to. Instead, it was as if people--the ones to save--were just another job. It just seemed tragic. One convinced there mission was to somehow show others the way would, even if their ideology, philosophy, theology was unacceptable, seem to have the capacity for this kind of love and compassion for humanity. Instead, their vocation--the divine one--was just another occupation. This made me angry. So, I walked in the park with my head down.