The most distant things are not the unknown, but the most familiar. However, familiarity doesn't equal nearness; in fact it almost always results in distance and a false sense of comfort.

This is especially true in human to human relationships. In the everyday interactions of small talk, familiar practices--passing people on the street, saying hello to acquaintances, buying things at the store--we see people, acknowledge them and move on. We are lulled into believing that there is no difference between us; no gap separating our seemingly shared existence. We unconsciously assume that our shared world means a universal embodied experience. But, this is simply not the case.

The most familiar things are actually the most distant.

This explains the shock of being--the eruption of notice and focus and alien-ness at the moment when we experience true intimacy with another. Our encounter with what we assumed was Same, is disrupted at its core by the embrace, the coalescence of two different bodies--two Others actually becoming near. In this moment, the utter terror of nearness becomes apparent--the convenience of familiarity is shattered by the utter proximity of another within the self; within the bounds of the normalcy which we assumed was spread beyond us.

True nearness is found only in this absurd moment of meeting; of encounter. This fact drives many to simulate true meeting with the false pretense of mechanical and meaningless interaction with others. But, casual sex does nothing to remedy the distance of the familiar. Rather, it only reinforces the false assumption that nearness is to be found in what is familiar.

Instead, true meeting requires a vulnerability which is simultaneously terrifying and hopeful. Terrifying in that an-other is brought into the sphere which was supposed to not only protect the self from danger, but also which delineates our everyday understanding of reality. When an-other is allowed in, disruption, chaos and absurdity are all genuine possibilities. It is hopeful because it is this chaos and absurdity which drives us toward, beyond and over. We hope that the encounter will bring meaning to the familiarity which is so often empty and void. We hope that the chaos will shed light on the nauseating order which is so familiar.

What is near is intimate. What is familiar is distant. Distance is not overcome by proximity, but only through openess to an-other which is different, powerful and full of potential.

Familiarity is common. Distance is universal. Nearness is rare.